Showing 25 of 1782 comments
Gray SheltonI certainly agree that my child isn't special to the whole world, but is special to me. I think as seniors in high school, kids should already know this truth and hearing it from a speaker shouldn't really tear them down. Most teens I know are arrogant enough to rebound and say "yeah whatever". :) I was. :)I can certainly see the advantage of allowing your child to understand their short comings. My parents, for example, would comment on my efforts and not necessarily the outcome. They would say "You gave a great effort!" instead of "you'll have to work on your swing" when I would strike out in a softball game. I knew I was no good and so quit playing, but wasn't hurt by that at all. I recognized a weakness and didn't waste my time, instead pursuing music which was a natural talent for me. I think parents are afraid of being realistic with their kids. But we shouldn't be. I agree with the idea of letting our kids know they mean EVERYTHING to us (because don't they?) but letting them know that not EVERYONE is their number one fan - and that is ok.
DmndForeignrAs a teacher, I give a tough course, yes, involving math. For many of these youngsters it is the first time in their life where the buck stops: Not so special anymore! They have never learned to handle defeat. You would not believe the vile aggression that is the result in their anonymous course evaluations.
H Ngon EbanBut I don't agree with his statement that " kid, you are not special" at all, as that would lead to some bad feelings for students, who are still teenagers, and they may loose their self-confidence 'cause of his saying also. Therefore, they need to be encouraged but not a criticizer to look forward their bright future, I think.
- Nando_Em_BrooklynThere is a difference between engaging your child in a critical discussion about his or her performance and telling him/her that what ever you just witnessed "was pretty bad."If a child did his or her best, then that should be acknowledged ... within the context of encouraging improvement ... if that is appropriate.There are so many questions we, as parents, need to ask ourselves before engaging in any kind of critical discussion with our children.
1) Am I an expert in this field? Can I define/recognize "a good performance"?
2) Is this something that my child actually wants to do?
3) How is my child going to react to negative feedback? Is my child normally encouraged by positive feedback? Or, does my child thrive when confronted by obstacles?I think think this is a much deeper conversation than what LZ Ganderson and the aired story propose. - IngenuousI really enjoyed this article and I think this message is important for all people especially in America. Reality is far healthier than this message that we are all special. I was born in 1980 and many people in my generation have bought into this being special fantasy. Try managing them at a job, the all have some special need that boils down to not doing what you hired them to do. Accountability has gone out the window because we are all special and have excuses for our mistakes instead of owning up to them and not repeating them. Telling everyone they are special before they have done anything to merit such accolades reinforces mediocrity or worse. All these people that are brought up thinking they are special go through a period of realization similar to loss in religious faith to come to grips that they are just 1 of many billion. It is much healthier to be honest, show your kids love, encourage them realistically, and let them know when their stick figure looks like crap instead framing their first "masterpiece". If you tell them they are the next Michelangelo they are in for some hard knocks when their art professor throws their "masterpiece" in the trash and tells them to reconsider art.
- Guestamen, brother. when everyone thinks they are special (as our reality TV lives seem to imply), as Dash from the Incredibles pointed out years ago, NO ONE IS. but that does not mean we should not strive to be special in some way. the danger comes when our parents, teachers, preachers, etc, all say how wonderful and special we all are. many things in life are played out on a bell curve. not all kids are above average, only about 49% are. but when everyone gets a ribbon, a sticker, or a medal, how are kids supposed to learn that? how do they learn that to excel, you must work at it?thanks to LZ for another thoughtful article. i do not always agree with what he says, although i do in this case, but he is always well written and thoughtful. unlike others (read: carville, navarette etc).
- KPATLLZ, you got this one right. All of the liberal blather on this post about how we need to be more like "John Lennon" With love, roses and unicorns, have lost sight of just how winners are losers are determined. Competition is what breeds the best ideas and results, and people are no different. We need a thinning of the herd in America, and I would think that Darwinian theory was supposed to be embraced by the left. I guess not.
- jennymayDarwinism is about allowing those with superior genes to survive while those who have less evolutionarily desirable genes to die off. To compare natural evolution based on superior genes to a easily rigged social system, in which history has shown can be manipulated, is silly.It is no measure of health to be well adjusted in a profoundly sick society
-Jiddu Krishnamurti - jennymayWe are all inherently valuable and powerful. Not all actions are valuable or powerful, but it is within us all. I would say with all the groupthink/trends/'following' that permeates all levels of society, there are too few people willing to recognize their own worth and think and act for themselves.
Michael TellierThis post hits the mark in so many ways. I can't believe the ways I see parents overinflate their kids value. Yes every child has value and has potential, especially to those close to them, but I regularly run into kids who think "I'm special" when they haven't stretched their limits or anything. We have raised a generation of grown children who can't take criticism, don't reach beyond what is easy, or reflect on their actions. They are already awesome. They don't have to change a thing.Congrats to Mr McCullugh for having the courage to say what was needed. I hope that some helicopter parent doesn't demand his dismissal because little Johnny didn't leave graduation feelling actualized- KPATLJ Bird, It's not all Happy Happy Joy Joy out in the real world. And the kids should know that. Not everyone gets a Ribbon for participation, and my boss does not care about my "personal reflection time". My guess is that you still live with your parents and have spent your entire life without any serious consequences or personal responsibility. Do yourself a favor, don't go back to school, get a job that involves a shovel and do some growing up.
- jbirdGlad that you are so egotistical, that you must rain on someone elses parade!
- orlandojonA better message for kids...you can be special through hard work. Supporting yourself and your family without government entitlments should be one of the yardsticks to measure success
- Honor480"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." (Mark Twain)
Luciano Barroqueirothere's a problem in my view about this article.. the world belongs to youngs.. if you say they is not special you are transforming in ordinary people.. the world cant change with ordinary people in charge, guys!! .. We need more Gandhi, more John Lennon, more people that care with others, we dont need people just talk like Obama or brazilian ex-president Lula with your empty promisses .. We need more help to ordinary people and enterprises and less for banks and government .. we need another system of government, another view for market .. Apple , for example , show us how the capitalism is so destructive like communism.. Microsoft invest much more in USA than others companies.. (and i dont like windows, i use ubuntu ok?) .. let the youngs dream, try, let they make ours mistakes.. it isnt you is a looser that you never can do what you dream , you have the rights to kill the dreams of someoneelse..sorry for my english..- Guestby telling them they are all wonderful, and by constantly fixing their mistakes as young parents do today, we are not teaching them anything. its one thing to dream. its another to be raised to expect that everything will be given to you because you are young and alive. kids have to learn how to MAKE their dreams a reality. this happens with hard work and by making mistakes and learning from them. sadly, nobody wants to do that today.
- SixthPlanetWe should tell our kids the plain truth.
They are entering an economy of rapidly disappearing opportunity. The private sector has outsourced 20% of our jobs and can now provide jobs for only 80% of us. We now have a permanent unemployed class. Obviously 20% of our graduates will be joining that social class of life-long losers.
Corporations in the same industry are making agreements not to hire each other's employees, to reduce turnover. It also means that an employee of one of those corporations will never be considered for a good position with a competitor, making the employee an indentured servant of his employer.
Employers now expect an unlimited amount of free overtime from 'salaried' employees. Obviously, it is much more profitable to compel 2 employees to work 12 hours a day instead of having 3 employees work 8 hours a day. You still get 24 hours of labor, but you only payh for 16 of them. To hell with the employee's family life, civic life, spiritual life, hobbies, and mental health. Many of today's graduates will never hear the phrases '8 hour day' or '40 hour week' in their lifetimes.
The new graduate can expect long periods of unemployment. It takes the average job seeker 50 weeks to find a job, usually for less pay than the previous job. Government is cutting back on unemployment compensation, so the graduate should expect to move back in with Mom and Dad for a year or two several times during his or her working life.
Finally, at age 65, the graduate can look forward to spending his or her golden years gathering shopping carts in the Wal-Mart parking lot instead of collecting Social Security. Fortunately, with the disappearance of Medicare, the graduate will not live as long as his or her grandparents, so his misery will be shorter.
Tell the kids the truth. Life is tough. It's screw or get screwed. - polydac2003I am constantly amazed at the sheer ignorance exhibited by people like msosaman pertaining to the Tea Party. I agree with the tea party and have a Ph.D. in chemical engineering. Furthermore, the vast majority of tea party supporters I know have college or post-graduate degrees (although I agree with Kat that a degree is no indicator of intelligence)But msosaman, do you really think the democrats can claim the intellectual high ground given that a majority of its supporters consist of union members, illegals and uneducated immigrants, occupiers, and welfare recipients? Seems a bit hypocritical don't you think?
- IrishYank2This is so very true. I love it when we make offers to come on board (salaried) to our interns and their salary expectations are twice the offer and derived from salaries(.)com. They get sooooo pizzed when I explain to them that they are in no position to negotiate such terms and, frankly, they're not blowing me away with some skill set that would ever drive me even close to meeting their expectations. It's pretty sad, really.
- polydac2003So true. My employer has had training sessions for managers to help them deal with the new generation of young employees. Most have been pampered for so long that they can't handle criticism. Some even have their parents call in and negotiate salaries for them.Fortunately, there are still new employees and interns coming in who have impressed me with their humbleness and willingness to work and learn. I guess not all parents have subscribed to the self-esteem approach to child rearing.....
- KPATLThey have delusions off grandeur that they got from public education for their entire lives,.. " I got a participation ribbon Yohoooo!!! I'm special I'm special!" Glad to see that you are bringing them closer to reality,.. they need that big time.
Roberta VathI had a professor who used to tell the class "you are all extraordinary." I just assumed he didn't know what the word meant =P- msosamanCollapseWell polydac, just to show your ignorance, or at least assumption, I am NOT a democrat. You may have a PhD, but honestly, just scan the crowd at any tea party rally and listen to them speak. It's obvious most are uneducated led by highly intelligent, but sinister, leaders. Look at the Nazi regime. Goebells had his PhD also.
- SixthPlanetRoberta, you never got it. The professor was saying that the average or ordinary person is a mathematical fiction, and the odds are that no such person exists. The ordinary person may be 5'8", brown eyed, brown haired, female, IQ 97, shoe size 9.5, etc. etc. But most people deviate from the norm on more than one dimension.I'm sure you were a great disappointment to him, if he noticed you at all.
- Jessie M. Reynolds, Legal secretary at international law firm. Animal charity work on occasion. Competitive pool player. I garden, can, preserve, hunt (when necessary), sew, build, bicycle and read.Eric who?
- crzycatldyThis guy (the guy who made the speech) should be appointed as head of the Department of Education for being the only educator willing to say out loud what we've all known to be true since the beginning of this PC bull c rap. Then we might have a public education system that isn't the laughing stock of the rest of the developed (and probably developing) world.
- naconaThank you. I was beginning to think there are only a few who think the education system has gone over the edge. You are right, the PC bull crap is creating an generation of average, non thinking, everyone is equal, people who will definitely make our education system and our country the laughing stock of the rest of the developed world.
- TerryTooLZ,While I seldom agree with your viewpoint, even when you express it well, in this case I must thank you for speaking honestly, and I must heartily agree with your perspective!!!!!Depending on the particulars, political correctness, or sensitivity, may or may not be in the long run what is best for society or the specific individual(s) involved. That is the larger message of your editorial.
- xxBrandXxxshow moreKid, you are not special. This applies to everyone, not just our recent graduates.Republican, you are not special.
Democrat, you are not special.
CEO, you are not special.
Panhandler, you are not special.
Sellout Pop Musician, you are not special.
Acoustic Protest Song Singer, you are not special.
Baby On Board Driver, you are not special.
Old **** Ploughing Through Farmer's Markets, you are not special.
Wounded Soldier in Afghanistan, you are not special.
Yellow Ribbon Spammer, you are not special.
Know-it-all-Internet-Genius, you are not special.
NRA Drooling Thug, you are not special.
Gay Rights Activist, you are not special.
Religious Inquisition Freak, you are not special.
Nanny State Supporter, you are not special.
No-Big-Government Anarchist, you are not special.So think about it from your context. When you look at your contributions, you are either Einstein or you ain't ****. I'm guessing you're not Einstein.
... - Ohioan2008Wounded Soldier in Afghanistan, you are not special. *** more special than some, they chose to join and fight for us, most will not.
- sharky66LZwelcome to the United States of Politically Correct Everyone Wins a Trophy NO One is more Special than anyone else America.
- xxBrandXxxGreat post John Milner! The truth burns in the ears of the old bags.
They have been coasting on the laurels of the generation that killed
Hitler for too long. Time to call them on their BS. - Ohioan2008without the soldiers of ww II, this country, and the rest of the world would be worse off.
- OHREEEALLYIn fact it has worked out well for me. I don't agree with many policies of the government, but then one of the beauties of our system is that I'm allowed to not agree with them, and not be shot or imprisoned for it. I am free to try anything I want to try, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, I'm able to send my kids to good schools, I have a great wife and a great life. To quote "the american system of government is the worst possible system, except for all the others" Sorry your life sucks. Do something about it and quit whining.
- xxBrandXxxMeh, sorry about the hostility. Some issue just get me riled. Every generation has it's work cut out for it. We got our job to do, so what's the use of complaining about it.
- xxBrandXxxI tell you what. You keep supporting the looting of the country since it's working out so well for you.
- OHREEEALLYYa know, to be taken seriously you occasionally have to come up with something beside spewing inane non-sequiters that have no reasoning behind them. Just spouting off hashed-over 60's revolution-speak updated to the current decade is just plain boring and passe. Grow up and at least TRY to sound like you got an education.
- xxBrandXxxHaving efforts to change the world that come to nothing is better than efforts to destroy the world coming to fruition.Thank the Boomers for extending the Cold War into the next Millennium by reviving the corpse of Reagan. Let's just all join the army now, it's the only growth sector of the economy.
- xxBrandXxxBoomers always make it seem like they want a better future for their grandkids while selling the present down the river to special interests, corporations, and the military complex.Your grandkids will inherit your debit, your wrecked economy, and polluted environment. But hey, you wont be around to see them suffer so who cares?
- xxBrandXxxshow moreSo I guess you both deny that the boomers are destined to leave the country worse off from when they inherited it? That the bond market has been ruined by the fed to keep the velocity of stock market trading high. The stock market has become a casino for high rollers. 401ks have become a high risk investments and banks no longer are a safe haven to park your money? Why? Because boomers in their infinite wisdom think the market can operate without regulation... ever heard of Glass Stengall?You probably have from your redcoated econ rags. REGULATION IS BAD oogah boogah!!!The best part is all that claptrap is being sold by Objectivist nuts that don't give a damn about you or your families or even the American way of life. They might as well be red chinese selling that line, but you bought into it,...
- OHREEEALLYSolex- sad truth is probably that no, he doesn't also contribute to the economy. He probably is one of those who benefits by it but does not put into it. Or an Occupyer, LOL
- SolexWrong pronoun XX - it is OUR economy. You live here too and you contribute to its greatness/weakness just like the rest.But assigning blame is always easier for people who have nothing to contribute.
- OHREEEALLYAlready long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the People have abdicated our duties; for the People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses[-Attributed to Juvenal
- jray11and neither are you LZ, even though you think you are because you're black and gay.
- z3pp3hAww, someone step on your toes? I bet you have children and think they're a gift to the earth (they're not). Stop projecting, start correcting your deficiencies. Hopefully, you didn't teach your children your errant ways.
- luvtheUSAalsoCollapseDo you remember the Reagan era, when Reagan was President, and Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were still alive?
Now we have Obama, no hope, and no cash!from http://blog.alexanderhiggins.com
57 Responses to “High School Teacher’s ‘You Are Not Special’ Graduation Speech”
I never got a Dime from government because I am a SWM!!! However, I am not a jealous type and I understand that we are not all equal or the same. And, Honey, 80-percent of my college and medical school class NEVER MADE IT!
That was fantastic, inspiring and beautiful
You might have learned about the use of capitals, spacing, punctuation and grammar.
You might even have learned how to form coherent communication.
The world sucks and the thing is corporations and bankers making hundreds of billiions. If not for them the world would be a nice place. But it’s full of drugs and drunks and people just using others.
The fad of the engine driven civilization will end.
Dont expect the fancy toy by which you view these words to last forever, either.
One can find failed civilizations spanning the globe.
You’ve been engaged with the protocols of zion. That’s what they want to happen, while keeping the ashkenazi racially pure. I like being white, and while I love and accept off colored relatives, I think the zionist plan sucks. Why can’t we just be tribal?, and I mean, rejecting integration, globalism, and all such s**t. Read “A Perfect Day”, by Ira Levin, a perfect jew propagandist, to get an idea of the world you envision.
Pharma (as do I!), so you must not be writing prescriptions…. Maybe that’s a life you left behind, to get away from taxes? Now maybe you’re a dumpster diver, stealing wifi where ever you can get it & spending all your time taking out your anger via blogs?
I respect what was written by all.
When you study and apply Macro history at the 50,000ft view- it points to a natural cycle of collapse. Out of collapse comes rebirth and something new to look forward to. the collapse of nations comes rebirth. The end of GMOs. End of Student loan slave debt. End of frankenfoods. Return to family first. So much more good stuff will come once the bad stuff goes away. Great speech on many levels. Im enjoying collapse. THIS IS MY SUPER BOWL and we all got front row seats. To those of you suffering- the pAin will go away. Cheers.