Sex addiction is a real problem suffered quietly by those who know they’d be branded “freaks of nature” if people found out about their condition. This addiction can involve many different sexual behaviors that may be either strong urges to have sex, masturbate, watch porn, or even flirt!
You know you are a sex addict when your behavior on the above mentioned gets out of control such that it gets in your way of living a normal life and impacts negatively on you. When these feelings are accompanied by denial, confusion, hopelessness and shame then honey, you may just be a sex addict.
So signs that could mean you are a sex addict are:
#1 You often feel a compulsion to have sex and are always thinking about sex.
#2 You can do anything to get “some” even if it means getting into prostitution or picking up prostitutes just for a quick fix.
#3 You obsess so much about sex such that you have a collection of sex toys and sex items and those are the most important belongings you possess.
#4 You secretly know that your obsession with sex is a problem and that it is wrong!
#5 You often feel the urge to partake in ‘abnormal’ sexual acts like “threesomes, foursomes” and you love to watch actual people having sex.
#6 You have a mpango wa kando ( a side dish chic apart from your chic) whose main role is to satisfy your sexual needs.
#7 Sex plays a major role in the fights you have with your significant other
#8 You keep your sex life very private. PS: It is normal to talk about sex in general and about your sex life to at least your best friend.
#9 You feel compelled to have several sexual partners for the sake of variety and to fulfill your fantasies
#10 You cheat your way out…not by only sleeping around but also by frequenting strip clubs, watching a lot of porn, going to x-rated movie theaters and having phone sex with strangers on a regular basis…such that it interferes with your relationships and work.
#11 You see everybody as a potential sex partner and you don’t see anything wrong with
partaking in sex with unsuitable people such as people who are underage.
#12 You love sex so much you wouldn’t care to use protection with your many sexual partners. When it comes to sex, your judgement is clouded.
#13 Sex has gotten you into trouble …you participate in phone sex during working hours, watching porn at work, looking at pornographic material instead of doing something that will be more helpful to you…
#14 You have gotten into legal trouble because of sex more than once.
#15 You are often left feeling a sense of shame and guilt after a sexual encounter which you initiated.
#16 Your mind is just preoccupied by all things sex…constantly looking for sex filled stuff. While watching occasional porn could be considered “normal” a sex filled day…meaning watching porn the whole day is quite abnormal.
All the above boil down to one thing… that you cannot CONTAIN yourself when it comes to sex hence letting it become a problem. However, you have the power to say no to sex addiction… and that is by accepting your condition first which will then allow you to get some much needed help.
NB. next week we try to answer these questions...
am sex addict I don't know how to do?
So am a sex addict, wea do i get help?
an article on how to control would help
OVERCOMING SEXUAL
ADDICTIONS, A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE…
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NOTE that
self control is not a matter of one’s will; it is infact, a fruit of the Holy
Spirit working in us. ( Gal. 5v22)
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What a merciful God we have and serve! As we
learn to depend more and more on God
to see us through each day, and we become more aware of His presence, moment by
moment we find that over time, the magnet of sexual sin loses its strength.
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Continual
prayer- a communion of Daddy God and son is very important to your
recovery. It is the Christian’s greatest
weapon against sin nature and the dangers and temptations of this world.
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The power
of fasting too! Never neglect this! Great people like David, Ezra, Esther
and Moses, after taking a fast, saw spiritual power.
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Reading and memorizing scriptures is an overlooked
weapon by many Christians. It should be in your arsenal. Memorize James 1:14 and 1st Corinthians
10:13 and quote them when tempted. Make
Psalms 51 your own personal prayer. DON’T forget to read the Bible regularly.
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DON’T let
your sin-shame become one of Satan’s weapons to keep you trapped. Secrecy is often a Christian’s biggest
enemy, while confession can
bring freedom and release from bondage of an overwhelming sense of shame.
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DON’T let
your pride destroy you. If no one knows of your personal moral failures, there
is no one to be accountable to, or to help lift you up in prayer or
encourage you. DON’T let pride destroy
you.
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In an interview with Easy FM, Pastor Cathy Kiuna of Jubilee Christian Church in Kenya,
said that most young people today are having sex not physically but in their
minds. Contact internet accountability services providers from
organizations like covenanteyes.net
to help in internet porn. Internet
filters offer maximum protection for children and adults.
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Change of
habits will do wonders to avoid sin. Avoid streets with prostitutes or that
cause you to lust when you drive through. Avoid the internet when your spouse
goes to bed.
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Stephen Arterburn in his book “Every Man’s Battle”; talks about
retraining the eyes to “bounce away” from visual things that stimulate lust in
you. For us men, this might mean you need to look away soon as you see a
scantily dressed female jogger. Don’t fuel your lust. Avert your eyes from
temptations and don’t look back. A good habit can be formed in around 2 weeks.
Keep bouncing your gaze away, and remarkable improvement can be noticed rather
quickly.
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Destroy all porn materials in your possessions
(make no provision for your flesh- Romans 13:14). Stop feeding the fire.
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If some friendships cause too much temptation,
severe those relationships.
-source: I too struggle sexually and I found a page where I
am accepted and loved and prayed for in my weaknesses at
DISCIPLES FOR CHRIST on FACEBOOK by Shelly Winger, or you
can email me at
bukhungubukhanga@gmail.com
